Dave -

This, even more than broadcast advertising, is a numbers game.
Unlike network, we don't PAY for a given number of ad placements. Rather we hope to create something outrageous enough that people will pass it on.

THEN we hope that the folks that actually need this service will give it a try.

That's the concept - I'll keep you all informed as to the results, if anybody cares.

v

Hmmm. Concept is okay but I think (and believe me I'm NO EXPERT!) some good changes would be to change the actor and not post the "we're serious" text as an overlay.

I would make it a younger guy (but still within your demographic) with a t-shirt that says "We're Serious!" and play it for laughs more than is done here.

I think your guy was trying to balance funny and serious and IMHO it just didn't work. Go all the way for funny, keep the contact overlay as is and have him wear the shirt.

The fact that it will be in an ad space online will bring it across to potential buyers that it's "probably for real."

My 2 cents.

sort of agree with davet2. hard to take seriously (though amusing in it's own right).

fully understand what you're talking about though. the net is a very different place than the tv and ones thinking has to change quite considerably for it. (not sure mine will, too old ;-))

btw. vic, heres a link to my 'cowboy' venture -

http://www.youtube.com/user/lesliewand?feature=mhum

i thought after selling 1500 copies it's had it's day and might be a good come on for this years ;-)

First, IMO this video was technically superb and told a good story.

However, while I'm not adverse to blue language (I think George Carlin's "Seven Words" is a true classic), I don't think this language added anything to the story and, as such, didn't need to be included.

The pencil-in-the-eye probably is a greater contributor to the "R rating", but it is the story.

Just my opinion (since you asked),
...Jerry

Yeah, I understand the concept. , just get it seen. But I don't know that people will realize it is a for real spot. I just blanked out the phone number, so I can't tell you what it or the company name was.

Good luck though. Interesting idea.

Dave T2

What is with the panning hard left of the guy say "it hurts...can we cut" at the end of the spot ? Seems out of left field...pun intended, but, I'm serious ! Wierd audio decision...the guy is still in the center of the picture...it's not like he has walked off to the left....anyway...onward.

The spot seems really quite good up until .34 seconds....entertaining...and the actor is light...appropriately spoofy..., but, then comes the "penicl in the fxxxxing eye" line. wtf ?...even after having read the other posts here before seeing it, that line is just so gratuitous and completely out of line, and, well, not funny....at all....imho, it kills the spot right then and there, but, then comes the blood....oye !
sorry, but you asked.

Also, the end voice over/announcer..."call 1-800...."
you've applied an even larger, reflective space/room on that voice over that just says fromage to me....it just should have been a different, dry, close mic'ed voice if you needed audio contrast there. Perhaps a female voice.

It's apparently been up for a couple of days and so far 91 views.
The campaign has failed.

Yes the web is a very different place, I sure as hell do not understand it however clearly whoever devised this campaign doesn't either.

My best guess as to why it has failed are much in line with what others are saying.

1) It isn't very funny.
2) There's no sting in its tail e.g. the guy could pull his hand away to reveal an eyeball on the end of the pencil. Then someone walks into shot to remove his prosthetic mask. Maybe showing several takes would have been good.
3) What tags are associated with the video?
4) What words are in the title to get views from misshits by searches. words like "amazing" "worst" etc attract views.

Bob.

By the way Vic, if you embed the link, those of us who are checking out this forum on a smartphone or tablet browser can check out the link a whole lot more easily:

Bob Farss -

Thanks for your thoughtful and well considered response - this is a first effort and I'm interested to see how far it goes.

And thank you all (everyone else you responded here) - ya know, it's the audience who determines the success or failure of any spot - and of course on the internet - the way in which it is spread. I will keep the group here informed as to my progress with the totally different marketing approach.

thanks again all,
v

Victor,
there's another thread current that *might" give you some clues:
http://www.sonycreativesoftware.com/forums/ShowMessage.asp?MessageID=754476&Replies=3

John Meyer's response might give you some insite into how to get the view count going up, this for your type of campaign is the vital metric. You really need a number in the seven figures to give your client any increase in enquiries for their service.

I'd also mention that someone above posted your video embedded. Look at the thumbnail YT have created, sorry but it isn't at all inviting. Why would someone click on that amongst hundreds of others if just browsing YT for something to watch. You have to manipulate your potential audience. Somehow getting a thumbnail that could easily be mistaken for a naked female body part is going to get you more views. Yeah I know, how dishonest and manipulative. You've got to get over that because you can bet your last nickel your competition long ago flushed their ethics down the toilet.

Bob.

Vic, I viewed the piece when you posted the link on Facebook as "funny commercial" , but didn't realise it was yours. I thought it lightly amusing up to the point of pencil in the eye, and from that point only the actor had my attention (even though this was clearly scripted). So no communication of desired information. Was there bad language? I didn't notice. Looking at the sort of thing that does grab gen ZZ I'd say the actor would really have to stab himself in the eye, in which case this would be seen as accidental rather than scripted. But I'd reckon that this would also blot out the intended information.
Watching again, I think it fine up to the change in lighting. I'd suggest cutting the pencil (the portion under incandescent lighting) and replacing with something appropriate to the message following "and this time I'm serious". After all, this is where we have to get some idea of what "serious" means. And will Gen ZZ actually be clients for this business?

Vic, you know I love ya and am a HUGE fan of your work. I never post and ask for feedback once I'm down with something cuz I hate people nit picking whats already done. That said I'm usually willing to give feedback when someone explicitly asks for it, of course with the disclaimer that people love to nitpick what I do so what the hell do I know?

I think for me where this was a bit of a challenge is that the kind of person that this is ment to parody makes it seem like its just a real "bad" commercial and will click away before the punchline. By and large people hate these spots so your hoping that right out of the gate people will want to stay to watch something they don't really like and without really knowing there will be a payoff. And here's where it gets harder in my my mind, is that if it's not played straight before he does the big gag it looses impact and surprise. I love your cameo but that combined with him saying "that really sucks" makes you know its fake ... even though it's real, the suspension of disbelief is broken before the big gag. Wow, like I said, it's a challenge, they have to think it's real before they find out its fake before realizing that it's real, you have to make something that people don't like watching watchable long enough to be surprised. Hat's off to you for taking on that!

Serena mentioned the color shift and that along with the change of shot also pulled me out of it, whether the average person would notice or care I can't say but it jarred me.

Again, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, all things are subjective and I can only give opinions not facts. Regardless I'm a fan, youre a rock star in my eyes and I applaud ya for trying something different and creative. =)

- Ray
Underground Planet

Vic I am also a big fan of your work, my background and experience is from AD Agency and I left ad industry to work in the film and production side because I love it,

A mental approach that I always had is avoid Negative context. If you have something neg to say, say it in a positive way.
Your clip has the lawyer looking like a dumb ass. Being an ass for a lawyer is cool but as for dumb, not cool.

The way to turn it around is have the lawyer explaining his bit but behind him a cage with money in it, and a guy trying to get into the cage with saws and tools etc and hurting himself more in the process of getting his claim than the damage he had in the original claim.

So you got hurt but why hurt yourself some more trying to get your claim.

The guy trying to get his bucks could be in a wheelchair really banged up so you can be creative with this.
End result more positive message with a spin.

So, what is the guy saying to us? He's sympathetic to our work-related injury (which is nice) but he isn't a lawyer. However if we've already won a compensation case but are still waiting for our payout, then he knows someone who can give us money now in anticipation of the settlement (for a cut). So really no lawyers and no further injuries. Although if no lawyers are involved it's probably the mafia, and despite the potential for humour I'm not sure if that twist would sell well!

There is more of a techical issue that really jumps out at me.



His left elbow is clipped in quite a few places. I'm not sure if you ran out of green screen or he was shot a little too tight and his arm moved out of camera. But, either way it pulls me out of the story every time I notice his elbow "disappear"...

@ amendeqw

Well Jerry, I hate to say it but if you think this was technically superb then I suggest you do not give up the day job. The video was poor as the poster admitted, together with an error on the green screen on the elbow, and the audio was simply not up to standard. The content IMHO was mediocre, and really done to death many times. Whether for you tube or whatever, this would not have left my studio facility.

Anthony JC

"Well Jerry, I hate to say it but if you think this was technically superb then I suggest you do not give up the day job"Ouch! and by the way, I haven't had a day job (or any other job - except than some part-time work at the local university) since I retired 9 years ago.

...Jerry

PS: Does it add anything to this thread to display this venom?

lol, struck me as a wee bit of an odd and out of place jab as well Jerry, some people just don't know how to amicably disagree without making it personal. I for one actually like it when folks make such left field posts like that, makes it easier for me to disregard them in the future. =)

- Ray
Underground Planet

Sorry Jerry, was not meant to offend or appear venomous, just the video doesn"t cut it in my opinion, we all strive to get the best quality with the resources we have available, and to me this video is mediocre in all respects..

Anthony J.C

Hi Gang -
This is my first venture into Youtube advertising and ALL of your comments were taken quite seriously.
...and after 30 years in advertising, I dont think I can get offended.
So thanks for your thoughtful insights.
Amazingly, after only 200 hits we actually got one inquiry.
The theory is that since there is no media cost, the spot plays forever.
There is no doubt that the truest success would depend on a much larger viewership. In that we so far have failed. But right now we are going to test one our two alternate versions - most notably w/o the profanity and a more direct call to action.
RE: our target demographic... we believe there are a lot of young people who have settled auto claims and need money fast.
Finally - thanks all for your kind words, but remember, great success will elude you if you give up on your first failure.

I've enjoyed much of your work Vic ... sorry but I find this unappealing and tasteless.

The product you're selling - temporary loans to successful litigants, sounds a tad exploitive, and if I'd really had an eye injury working in a pencil factory, I don't think I'd enjoy watching a ham actor pretending to do it to himself.

Maybe your "target demographic" will like, it, but I'm afraid I didn't.

Just a few tech points:

The masking on the right side side is bad. I see part of his arm disappear, not just his elbow.

Lots of chromakeying artifacts on the plaid coat, especially under his arm at the end shot.

The color is different after the cut.

At the end, his voice is panned all the way left as the music comes in more to the right.